The amber of this moment

"'Welcome aboard, Mr. Pilgrim,' said the loudspeaker. 'Any questions?'

Billy licked his lips, thought a while, inquired at last: 'Why me?'

'That is a very Earthling question to ask, Mr. Pilgrim. Why you? Why us for that matter? Why anything? Because this moment simply is. Have you ever seen bugs trapped in amber?'

Yes.' Billy, in fact, had a paperweight in his office which was a blob of polished amber with three lady-bugs embedded in it.

'Well, here we are, Mr. Pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is no why.'"

-Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five
And so it goes, as Kurt Vonnegut would succinctly say.

Here and now is what I am now searching to discover. What can I do today that might make the here and now just a little more bearable, or even enjoyable?
My story is not one that is special or unique--we all spend the majority of our lives alone in our searches, whether or not we are physically accompanied by people.
I have no tales of heroism or courage; just the everyday struggle to find meaning where perhaps there is none.
I have no advice to give of which the depth is more than any other educated person.
What I have is a passion to live and to discover...and to share.

I chose this passage to begin again because it is one that has stuck with me since the day I read it. The message is ten-fold, and can be seen positively or negatively. Today, I want to point out the simple message of living here, today. We cannot escape, but through memories and fantasies, that which is now. We make choices, and then choose to either choose again, or live with those choices. Time is something which I know beyond all reasonable doubt, will continue tomorrow. Unlike Mr. Pilgrim in Slaughterhouse Five, I move only forward; and I will continue to do only that.
But maybe the truth is, that Vonnegut is right. Maybe we are destined to relive each moment of our lives throughout the extent of eternity...I certainly spend hours reliving, at least in memory, those moments which have been perhaps pivotal or eye-opening in some way....and unfortunately those which have been possibly, in the scheme of things, unimportant, yet, haunting in some terminal way.
But if he is right, and if I am also right, in assuming that my sense of time will, for now, continue to move only forward...then today I choose to be pleasant, and to find the little moments within those days which seem unbearable that are lovely. Because if I am going to look back and remember all of my moments at some point or another...I'd really like to make sure that there are plenty of good ones.

Make a choice and then live with it...or change it.

Today I choose to find something good everyday.
...today I struggled through a test. I worked hard, and the struggle was good. Had I not worked hard, there wouldn't have been a fight.

Bis Bald...