happy new year...

A little late for the new year post, but nonetheless... here it is.
I am going to write again.
1. because I am tired of composing thoughts in my head in the form of letters
2.because even if no one reads it, there's always the possibility
3.because any excuse for procrastination is a good one
4.because I want to

My resolutions for the new year: one. sort of.
*no more resolutions. just change.
I'm sure I heard that somewhere else, but I loved it.
Last year's resolution still stands:
*make a decision. and live with it.
I have woken up everyday this new year with a smile.
I smile because I know that although I haven't the slightest clue what today or tomorrow, or especially next year will bring, I do know that I am up to the challenge.
I am already making mistakes, but I am loving each one.
What's college life without the awkward, the funny, the shocking, the awesome? And what kind of woman, human, would I be, if not flawed?
The imperfections are the things in my life I have grown to love the most...the imperfections have always marked the human moments: those human interactions between people that let us know that we are all on the same level... a smile between mother and daughter after a fight, a nudge between friends after a good cry, the nod from an ex- once the anger and hurt has faded, the morning hugs from our coffee friends... Some of these moments are the most precious, even when I've had the most successful of days.
And now for this year's markers...and they are great...

1 day... tomorrow.
2 weeks...first draft of personal research paper
1 month...22 years old
2 months...my very last spring break
3 months...the announcement of the Fulbright scholars (crossing fingers)
4 months...present my independent research to my professors and peers
5 months... graduation
beyond...endless possibility

Five months is the extent to which I can comprehend the rest of my life.
So today I am beginning the narration of the journey, what many will call "the beginning of the end", but what I would simply call my extended tomorrow.

2009 was a year of risks--some for the best and some for the worst. I found a couple of metaphorical jackpots, and I managed to fall a bit hard a few times as well. The progress I made as a person, however, is nearly unimaginable.
2009 was the year I figured out what was at stake in finding what is essentially Sara.

Since I can only imagine it will continue to get better, even when the times are slow and tough, I find more reason to celebrate the new year than to dread it. Graduation brings the foreboding question "what's next?" and the consequent answer "who knows."
For now, I will just breathe and smile. It's been going well for me so far this year.
I'll let you know a bit more this time around...

If I had the lyrics I would post this song, because it essentially screams the things I would love to say. Look it up, and enjoy.

Rey Fresco "Precious Time" from the album The People

"Wake up in the morning dew
open up your eyes: Sunshine
Ain't no easy way out so stop
you're wasting your time
play that beat my friend
...

Cause all we need got is precious time
All we've got is precious time

...Mamas, sisters, brothers papas,
I hope that you're all doing well
I hope that you are doing well

Because all we've got is precious time
All we've got is this precious time

Are we gonna see each other again tomorrow?
Are we gonna speak them sweet tones tomorrow?
I'm gonna have my shake and my sorrows...

...'cause all we've got is precious time..."